National Society for Embarrassing Diseases
The National Society for Embarrassing Diseases held its Annual General Meeting last month. Liar reporter Arthur Smallpiece was there to report the news.
The meeting was due to start at 10 am, although Mr Ernie Peabody (Premature Ejaculation) arrived very early, which surprised nobody.
The meeting was presided over by Mrs Edwina Thring (Bad Breath), whose emotional speech soon had the committee reaching for their handkerchiefs.
Deep seated problem
Edgar Pincher (Haemorrhoids) was unwilling to take the chair, but the problem was solved when it was taken by Nellie Fagan (Kleptomania).
Mr Albert Scrottle (Flatulence) produced several reports which caused some consternation in the room until the chairman cleared the air to general approval.
Just then there was an interjection from Mr Fred Emery (Priapism), whose point was appreciated, especially from Miss Elsie Cripps (Nymphomania).
Apologies for absence were received from the Godalming Impotents, who were sorry that they couldn’t oblige. The apology was gratefully accepted by Miss Frost (Frigidity).
The meeting then discussed a suggestion from Wayne Boots (Oedipus Complex), who put forward the motion that the Society should promote social intercourse with the Mothers’ Union.
Many interesting items were brought up by Mr William Spue (Bulimia), but a motion by Edgar Throttle (Constipation) was not passed, much to the members’ relief.
Lord Nasticutt (Masochism), who did not have the fare home, begged for a whip round, but Miss Trixie Fettle (Sadism) kindly offered to solve his problem.
Eau de Russe
Mr Barmitage Sprott (B.O.) made an impassioned plea for understanding. His voice could be clearly heard from outside the hall, which was just as well as everybody had assembled there for his speech.
At this point Miss Emily Gerhart (Incontinence) released a stream of stuff and a large motion by Edwin Spart (Diarrhoea) was passed. It was decided to declare the meeting closed.