The most famous Tudor king was Henry VIII, who was very pleased with his army. He was especially proud of the archers; so much so that he commissioned a radio programme about them. One of its most fervent listeners was his American wife, Catherine of Oregon, who used it to help her speak English properly. Henry is known for having 6 wives, the 5th of whom, Catherine Howard, must have been a but thick when he proposed, as she mused: “Let’s see; divorced, beheaded, died, divorced – I wonder what comes next?” Well, she did come from a Norfolk family.
When Henry’s son Edward popped his clogs aged 15, the nation wept: “Oh bugger, it’s bloody Mary!” After shortening Lady Jane Grey by a head, she decided that anyone who wasn’t a Catholic would go to hell and thought it would be a kindness to help them on their way by relieving them of their worldly goods and their heads. To be fair, several hundred Protestants escaped the axe by being burned at the stake instead.